The feelings of those who have come here: Before the age of 40, we must take the initiative to disconnect the following three types of people, and the third type is reluctant to part
01
Some people say that human life is actually a process from addition to subtraction.
Addition means to gain, subtraction means to lose.
But sometimes, getting something is not necessarily a real possession, and losing is not necessarily a bad thing. The so-called “lost in the east and harvest the mulberry and elm, when we lose the horse, how can we know that it is not a blessing” is this truth.
When a person reaches middle age, life enters the second half stage.
Whether it was non-stop in the first half or wasted time, it has become a thing of the past.
The rest of your life is expensive, please don’t waste it.
Limited energy should be spent on worthy people and things.
Those relationships that need to be desperately catered to in order to be maintained for a short period of time should be asked out of your life.
There is a quintessential concept in Hideko Yamashita’s “Duansheli”:
“Only things that are suitable and necessary for your current self, and are really in use, will stay in your own space.”
This philosophy applies not only to objects, but also to emotions.
When people reach middle age, they must learn to use the concept of breaking up and abandoning those tasteless feelings that are tasteless and regrettable. Make clean and tidy circles for yourself.
Before the age of 40, you must take the initiative to disconnect the following three types of people, and the third type is reluctant to part.
02
The first category: friends who can only be together when eating, drinking, and having fun.
When I was young, I always thought that one more friend means one more way, and I like to make some so-called friends.
Just a phone call, and a large table gathered in a turbulent manner. What is “deep feeling, suffocating at one sip”, if you don’t drink and lie down, it seems that you don’t treat the other party as your own.
On the surface, it seems that the relationship is deadly, but when something big happens, it is all push and push, and hide and hide.
Once saw a street interview asking passersby to call the best bro to borrow money.
After the call was made, the young man asked the other party out to play as a joke at first, and his friend who had planned to rest asked him to send his location, and he would be there soon.
When he indicated that he wanted to borrow money in an emergency, the other party hung up the phone without saying a word.
Whether it is a human or a ghost, you will know if you borrow money once.
People are like that sometimes. Wishful thinking treats the other party as a brother, but he treats you as the stupid son of the landlord’s family, cheating food and drink.
It really answered the sentence: “I said that I would share weal and woe with life and death, but now I know that everything is money and tea.”
In real life, around each of us, there are one or two alcoholic friends who are going to fly away from each other.
When you are good, hello me, hello everyone; when you are down, turning your face is faster than turning a book.
The poor and the lowly relatives are separated, and the rich and the rich are joined by others .
When people reach middle age, they need to understand a truth, that there are not many good friends. Those phony friends of wine and meat should stay away as soon as possible.
03
The second category: squeezing your relatives.
When people reach middle age, everyone has their own life to live and their own pressure to bear. There are seniors and juniors, and no one has less pressure than anyone else.
But there are always one or two relatives who can’t understand clearly, jumping out from time to time to be a demon, making a bad one, for fear that others will forget his existence.
In the TV series “Everything is Good”, the uncle who has been relying on Su’s mother to help him for life, after the death of Su’s mother, actually came to the door to ask the three sisters and brothers of the Su family to inherit the tradition of Su’s mother’s assistance to him, and continue to provide him with financial assistance.
Such relatives have simply squeezed family affection to a new height, making people feel as disgusting as eating flies.
When we were young, we might take care of each other’s faces and fear being labelled ruthless.
Even if there are 100,000 unwilling people in your heart, you have to smile on your face to maintain the harmony on the surface.
Complete others, but wronged themselves.
When people reach middle age, they must learn to stay away from those vampire relatives who rely on you to talk, use your psychology of valuing family affection to oppress you, want to take advantage of everything, and want to take advantage of everything.
Such relatives often have another characteristic : they can never ask for too much from others, and when they need to pay, they can’t pluck out a single hair.
He won’t appreciate your efforts. Instead, you feel at ease that it is your duty to satisfy his greed and desires unconditionally.
When people reach middle age, everyone has their own family to support. We must learn to help others when we have spare energy, and the principle of not helping the poor.
For those relatives who do not cherish family affection and only blindly ask for it. We don’t have to act like a fool and keep digging our hearts out.
04
The third category: the opposite sex who is active and ambiguous with you .
In middle age, the decades of daily life between husband and wife have long exhausted each other’s enthusiasm and patience.
Living in such a marriage for a long time will inevitably feel a little boring and lonely.
At this time, if there is someone of the opposite sex who is willing to be ambiguous with him, and who is not responsible for himself, it is tantamount to throwing a pebble on the calm lake, which will make people’s minds rippling.
Some people may feel that it’s just a matter of chatting with the other party to pass the time, without any substantial cheating, what’s the big deal?
But often many families are ruined in such relationships.
American marriage columnist Henry Crowder once said:
“The best way to judge crossing the line is to see if your actions have hurt the other half of the marriage.”
The sense of boundaries is very important in sexual intercourse.
As a married person, always entangled with the opposite sex is a manifestation of lack of respect for marriage partners.
Besides, this ambiguous thing is very dangerous once it is on it.
The so-called, often walking by the river, how can you not get wet shoes.
Once the window paper is pierced and the ambiguity is put into action, the damage to the marriage is often irreparable.
When a person reaches middle age, his career is stable, his wife is virtuous and his son is filial, and his life is almost complete.
Don’t be greedy for the passion of the moment, and destroy the happiness that you have worked hard to manage in the first half of your life.
05
Life is a practice.
When you are proud, you will see all the Chang’an flowers in one day; when you are in trouble, you will lose the Xintingzhuo wine glass.
Every middle-aged person should have this self-knowledge:
It’s not that it’s easy to walk if you have more friends, and when you’re not strong enough, it’s useless to know the King of Heaven.
As the philosopher Zhou Guoping said:
“It is not the intercourse itself that makes an intercourse worthwhile, but the individual values of the intercoursers.
High-quality friendship always occurs between two excellent independent personalities, and its essence is mutual appreciation and respect from both sides.
Therefore, it is important to make oneself truly valuable and worthy of being a quality friend, which is the first contribution a person can make to friendship. “
No matter what age we are, we should focus on improving our self-worth.
If you bloom, butterflies will come.
When people reach middle age, they must learn to subtract their own life and circles, and stay away from useless social interactions that only consume our time and emotions.
The rest of your life is expensive, and every minute, every second, should be spent on someone who is worthy of it.